There’s junk removal… and then there’s whatever this is.
At HAUL PROS, we’ve seen things. Dark things. Things that creak in the attic and giggle from under beds. We’ve opened closets that whispered "turn back," and basements that made us question our life choices. Sure, some jobs are just old furniture and boxes of random junk—but sometimes? Sometimes you stumble upon a literal horror museum of mystery.
So sit back, dim the lights (or don’t), and let us share the Top 10 Bizarre Items We’ve Removed—tales so strange, you’ll laugh, scream, and probably rethink that box in your garage.
1. The Box of "Personal Massagers" (That Buzzed on Their Own)
Let’s start with the elephant in the room. Or should we say… the battery-operated mystery drawer? We were clearing out an unmarked box when it started vibrating. No one had touched it. Inside? A dozen well-loved, overworked adult toys. Some vintage. One that looked like it came from the set of a sci-fi movie. We made eye contact with it—and it blinked.
2. Taxidermy Gone Wrong
We’ve hauled some wild animal decor, but this one? It was a raccoon wearing lipstick and a child’s tiara. One of its glass eyes was replaced with a googly one. It looked like it had been in several bar fights and won none. We named her "Miss Trashley." She’s still in our nightmares.
3. The Jar of Human Teeth
You think you’re prepared for anything until you lift a box labeled “kitchen” and find a jar of molars grinning back at you. Not baby teeth. Full-sized human chompers. Why? Were they trophies? Was this some underground Tooth Fairy operation? We’ll never know, and frankly… we’re okay with that.
4. A Collection of Garden Gnomes Dressed as Famous Rappers
Gnome Dre. Gnome Dogg. Lil Gnomex. Someone spent serious time crafting custom hip-hop gnome figurines, complete with tiny chains, grills, and microphones. The detail was immaculate. We tried not to tear up when we packed them.
5. Wet Stuffed Animals in a Bathtub
Imagine walking into a bathroom and finding it filled with waterlogged teddy bears. Why? Were they being baptized? Punished? Were they part of some soggy ritual? The bears had blank stares like they knew something. We left that job questioning everything.
6. The Mannequin Family with Duct-Taped Mouths
A storage unit filled with life-sized mannequins—posed around a table, like they were frozen mid-dinner. All had duct tape over their mouths, one had a birthday hat, and another was missing limbs. No explanation. We didn't ask. We just ran.
7. The Discovery: A Wall of “Literature”
It started like any other cleanout—boxes labeled “books” stacked high in a dusty garage. But the moment we opened the first one, we realized these weren’t your typical novels. Nope. This was an archive of adult magazines, meticulously organized by title, year, and in some cases... condition.
Playboy, Penthouse, Hustler—you name it. Some editions dated back to the ‘70s. It was like someone had preserved the history of adult print media in near-mint condition. Honestly? It was impressive.
8. A Shoebox of Toenail Clippings – Sorted by Month
We opened a dusty old shoebox expecting receipts. What we found instead? A year’s worth of toenail clippings… meticulously sorted by month. Someone was keeping track of their foot history. Was it for science? A dark ritual? We didn't ask. We just backed away slowly and double-gloved.
9. Grandma’s Ashes… in a Cookie Jar
We thought we were grabbing a jar of grandma’s famous oatmeal raisin cookies. Until someone said, “Wait, don’t open that — that’s Nana.”
Yep. Human ashes. In a cookie jar. Unlabeled. Sitting in a kitchen cabinet like a casual snack. We very carefully returned Nana to her family. With both hands.
10. A Coffee Table Made Entirely of Legos
We almost didn’t touch it. One wrong move and the entire structure would collapse into chaos. It had cup holders, drawers, and even a little Lego dog sitting on top. Took five people to move it without screaming.
Creeped Out? Laughing Nervously? Wondering What’s in Your Closet?
We’ve cleaned out some of the weirdest, wildest spaces in SoCal, and if there's one thing we've learned:
Everyone's hiding something.
Whether it’s vintage "toys," haunted dolls, or a collection of adult magazines, HAUL PROS is ready. We handle bizarre junk with professionalism, discretion, and the occasional sage smudge stick.
Book your cleanout now and reclaim your space — from the creepy, the hilarious, and the just plain unexplainable.